How can you build up your self-confidence? I’ve been writing about this in my previous posts here Developing True Confidence and here In search of self-confidence. It’s not only possible but essential for anyone who wants to live up to their potential. And it’s not a mystery. Social scientists have studied the components so that we now have a roadmap for developing confidence.
Two main qualities contribute to real self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.
- We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals that matter. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.
- This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy.
When I’m working with my coaching clients, we explore all the areas where they are already self-confident. Many times, people take the skills they’ve already mastered for granted. When you explore past achievements, you see your capabilities with a new set of eyes. Your strengths get reinforced. You build confidence realistically.
Which leads to how we create and build self-esteem, another building block for self-confidence. Remind yourself of all the things in your life you’ve done that have contributed to your belief in yourself.
The Confidence-Achievement Link
“If you want confidence, get out there and do something. Achieve. Because nothing can replace the confidence of achievement. When it comes to confidence, achievement is gold, silver and bronze all rolled into one.” ~ Robert Kelsey
Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. There’s some truth in this, and it’s can be a great place to start but it’s just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals―thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don’t have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.
What’s stopping you? Let’s talk.
Let me know if I can help.
You can reach me by leaving a comment below or via email Suzanne@suzannemountain.com.