The Building Blocks to Self Confidence

How can you build up your self-confidence? I’ve been writing about this in my previous posts here  Developing True Confidence and here In search of self-confidence. It’s not only possible but essential for anyone who wants to live up to their potential. And it’s not a mystery. Social scientists have studied the components so that we now have a roadmap for developing confidence.

Developing true confidence

Self-confidence contributes a lot to your level of success and is something that can be improved by working with a coach. However, you’ll need to develop authentic confidence and not merely buy into false confidence if you are really going to master it. Now I and other coaches ‘talk about faking it till you make it’ and whilst this is useful in the short term, you do need to do the work to embed that new level of confidence or it becomes false confidence.

In search of Self Confidence

Even successful people want more self-confidence. People who exude self-assurance easily influence others, get more promotions, earn more money, and seem to have more fun and success. As a coach, it’s not unusual for my clients to confide they think they could do much more if only they had more self-confidence. Indeed, it is not unusual for a new client to approach me as they want to develop greater self-confidence to help them achieve more in their business, career or personal relationships. They see others as having more confidence than they do and feel that lack of confidence is stopping them from living up to their real potential.

Seven Steps to becoming more Confident.

Each of us is unique with different talents and find different ways to express them. Recently I was running a virtual pop-up Confidence Café for a group of people on Facebook and one of the things I was keen for the individuals to do was fully understand what confidence means and then work out how to boost their own confidence. At the beginning of the week, we agreed that Confident people are aware of both their good and bad points and accept themselves, flaws and all. Confident people don’t feel the need to be perfect. They are comfortable with who they are and that allows their authenticity to shine through. Imagine the pressure that takes off you!! No more trying to be something you are not. No more feeling the pressure to be more like this person or less like you!

Midcareer Crisis or Opportunity?

Have you ever had a midcareer fantasy where you quit your job and go do something new? Many people secretly admit to their coaches that they’re contemplating midcareer shifts. They may not actively seek change, but they certainly start imagining it. Of LinkedIn’s 500 million members, around 30% are active job seekers; 60% are passive job seekers (not proactively searching for new jobs, but seriously willing to consider viable opportunities). There’s also been a steady increase in self-employed and temporary workers over the last two decades. Entrepreneurship may sound lucrative every time a start-up goes public. Regardless of your age, background or professional accomplishments, you’ve probably dreamed about a new career at some point. Midlife is often a time when we re-evaluate our goals, aspirations and what truly matters to us in life.

Why I am hot and bothered about the menopause. And the support available

Do you know that the average age for a woman in the western world to experience the menopause is 51? And that 1 in 4 women currently going through the menopause has considered leaving their job because of their experiences. The changes that happen to our bodies during this time are perfectly normal and yet in my 30-year corporate HR career and I can honestly say it was only mentioned openly twice that I can remember! How shocking is that?

The Second Half of Your Career: “Has Anyone Seen My Passion?”

At some point in your career, you may sense a creeping malaise. You’re no longer enthusiastic about the day ahead. Perhaps you’re experiencing a midlife crisis—the sudden realization that you’re no longer a rising star. After 20 years of all-too-familiar work, you’re good at your job, but you’re not learning or contributing as much. You seldom feel challenged or particularly satisfied and may be reminded of the songs “Working on the Chain Gang” or “Is That All There Is?” While bills must be paid, bosses remain unpleasant, projects fail, and work stagnates.

Helping others find motivation and meaning in life

Most of us know how hard it is to motivate other people. No matter what your role in life, most of us are part-time motivators. We not only have to motivate ourselves but others as well. We need colleagues to complete tasks, partners to do their share, and children to become self-sufficient and responsible. I hear this all the time with my coaching clients and it doesn’t matter whether they are leaders in large organisations or parents of teenagers within my empty nest Facebook group they all seem to experience the same difficulties. Managers, colleagues and other parents are all baffled when it comes to finding the right words to inspire enthusiasm and action.

How to find midlife career satisfaction

As we leave school or at graduation, each of us has visions of what we'll accomplish in our careers. Years later, even the best and brightest from the most prestigious universities aren't immune to feelings of failure and disappointment. Many people who maintain a veneer of professional success report feeling dissatisfied and doubt they’re in the right job. They often find themselves trapped in meaningless work and it is what drives some of my clients to seek out coaching. Yet the concept around finding work you love persists.

Coaching conversations: Understanding leads to insights

When I’m coaching I find that many clients fail to coach their people, preferring to fix problems and suggest solutions. They don't take the time to have coaching conversations in which they ask provocative questions. Often this is not because they don’t want to but it can due to a misunderstanding of what coaching might look like or think that they are there to provide answers. As a result, they don't coach and fail to help their team to think things through.